ZMT_046

batch processed by the oppression algorithm
gloating in the shadow of his own clock

ZMT_042

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"...illusion ONLY is sacred, truth PROFANE!
NAY,
sacredness is held to be ENHANCED
in proportion as truth decreases and illusion increases,
so that the highest degree of illusion comes to be
the highest degree of SACREDNESS."
(Feuerbach)

ZMT_041

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"Art is the only thing left for people who don't give science the last word. I didn't want to be called an artist, you know. I wanted to use my possibility to be an individual." -Marcel Duchamp

040

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It was hard to wrench my mind back to deception. I can't countenance espionage! I came out of the cloud.There was no one here! I'm going back to bed to pretend to sleep. Across the road several cows filed slowly on their way from the pasture to the cow-barn. The soup bowl looked to me like an unflushable toilet. It must have been intended, or it wouldn't have happened. This has been a decrypt of an enemy radio signal.

039

Shel Silverstein via last.fm

Listen to the MUSTN'Ts, child,
Listen to the DON'Ts
Listen to the SHOULDN'Ts
The IMPOSIBLEs, the WON'Ts
Listen to the NEVER HAVEs
Then listen close to me--
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.
--Shel Silverstein

038

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Each cell with one or no neighbors dies, as if by loneliness. Complex behaviors emerge from the interaction between agents following simple rules. Albert Einstein said "The most beautiful thing we can witness is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science." "Is too much thinking bad for grades?" When I first tried using the new technique, I had no idea what the images might look like and was completely surprised by the results. The scribbles went off the page (top and bottom). " I stacked the pluses and minuses deep within the core of the algorithm with a long fuse to the trigger word "pork". When this is activated we hear the following "story problem": There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. The man and his son were in a car accident. Two days later his older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? Ask the man who lives on the top floor! He'll tell you how his only child got impaled by a corner on a flying manhole cover in a cluster of events like a constellation of glowing brain cells strobing out in some complex algorithm. Smoke THAT with your shrink.

037

Nim Chimpsky taught us all we know about language. Before he shared his wisdom, we were just blabbering nonsense until he blocked our pathway to doom with a gilded mirror. If you see him in a zoo, you should thank him, but don't even glance at his young human wife because he might stop teaching at the university, and then we'd stay chained to doom. I put some of his cloned dna into my coffee every morning (to make it taste better). "Eat the treat monkey!" Einstein couldn't even speak until he was four years old. Nim Chimpsky is fed only blueberries and beetles because it makes his poop taste better. There is an annual banquet. Register online!

036

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Don't apologize for calling me a porpoise... heck, I thought you were a crocodile! I thought I had heard everything until I got a letter that told how to make buttermilk. (hint: place a piece or two of dried bread in the broiler pan to soak up the dripped fat!) (Three coils are precisely pulsed in sequence to fire a steel projectile (very sleek and functional)) Everything is going to be alright. "I tried starching my throw rugs to keep them flat and they still wrinkled, curled, and were a mess. People say they could completely see me being a mime. Because of you, in swamps of blossoming dragonflies, I ache from the perfume of the pregnant wind. I am like an airport with a runway that intersects with a major highway. Obviously we are not looking at a real alien fetus. We don't know anything, then we call it quits.

035

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CAN SUCH THINGS BE? This Is The Real Story Behind One of the Strangest Cases of the Unexplained! Just hearing the story will increase your bodies' resistance to infections and sadness (or it may trick you into committing suicide "samurai style" (if you are sympathetically tuned to such a sour suggestion)). The Pentagon was NEVER hit by a Boeing 757! The military only needed to cover up their negligence in leaving the keys in the ignition of the flying saucer they parked in a Walgreen's parking lot when the AirForce pilot was buying antacids. An angry and psychotic homeless veteran saw it as destiny to get in and "take her for a spin". His dementia persuaded him to head straight for the Pentagon. He has aiming for the hole in the middle, like a giant game of Frisbee golf. He was my uncle Bob, and he called me on my cellphone mid-flight, and he said "All of our problems will be solved! Drink yer liquor from a gun shaped bottle! And for crying-out-loud GET SOME GUITAR LESSONS!!!

034

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The agitated burglar had the gumption to burp up a stench that coordinated bile and whiskey into an alien bouquet that put the dog to sleep immediately. She grabbed the sacred artifact from behind the dog and expediently gave it an artful frosting covering that resembled a thin vail of marmalade on an English muffin. Amidst the mesmerizing faux pattern she embedded the microdrive containing the testimonial of the sodding traitor. The bloke proclaims "The impurity of the bureau's new parchment supply can only be justly complimented by an inkwell of phlegm!" The free world was counting on a phrase more relevant to the current political dilemma, but after years of misleading speculation their hope dissolved in an bathtub of acidic bllsht. I guess voodoo can only bring one exhumed wooley mammoth mummy back to life per full moon. Better luck next time suckers!

033

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I'm beginning to think you're a chip off the old block. You're silly; what's there to be afraid of? Nothing! Nothing! The whole is nothing! I'll tell you what I wished for on the moon. I myself never asked where the money I spent came from. Is it a bad omen, or what? How can I convince you? I just have one longing and it seems to grow stronger and stronger. The only way to find out those things is to make discreet inquiries at the proper moment. I don't know quite how to tell you. It's all mixed up with so many things. Maybe I've got no call to be saying this. A sober black shawl hides her body entirely. Doesn't it seem to sting you? I think it's simply immoral to fight a duel, or even to be present at one as a doctor. Nanny, will you give him a piece of cake? I feel all right. We all love you. I won't speak to you---until you apologize! For a thousand years in my sight are but as yesterday. [he chants]

032

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the "city of roses and poets" / the perfume of love escapes / most state assembly seats are held by convicted criminals / enrich your spiritual life / average over 99% in at least two categories / you will always be in control, and merely need to notify us when you feel you need to exit the tank. / squelch / gape / eviscerate / there are no hot dog vendors in prison yards / in her daydreams, she never stutters. / a hand emerges, clutching desperately at the wet sand / it took you over four hundred cream pies to get here / give the bum loose change / find the idiot within / if anything, this blog is a Davidian counterbalance to the Goliath of intelligent literature / i only drink yoga brand soda when I get asthma from the sofa, then I chant a mantra about trauma from drinking vodka in a sauna / the molten vulva covered with pasta was the first vision in the saga of crispy karma / the schema of dogma nausea was violated by surpassing the tuna quota scathing my trachea with boiling mocha

031

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Everything seems to bother me today (because certain things have to be and certain things can never be). That's all very well, but somehow I can't feel it's meant to be serious. What difference does it make what they think? We must do something about all this. And then she came, and she cried. You can't bull yourself through this one. Frightfully funny, you know! Oh, I'm just an old sinner. I couldn't get to sleep all night, and I'm not feeling too grand just now. Let's forget about the whole thing. It frightens me terribly how she just drifts along. I haven't said what I had in mind to ask you. Oh, please don't think I sit around doing nothing! I managed to get along well enough without them. Perhaps you could do the same yourself.

030

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As Henry Ford said, "Believe you can, believe you can't; either way, you're right." Before the last morn, I was lying in bed, apparently awake, when suddenly I experienced a range of primarily somatic sensations, including vibrations, heaviness, and paralysis. Then I experienced the vivid sensation of separating from my "physical body" in what felt like a second body, floating above my bed. Dogs always know who's bad immediately, and bark uncontrollably. Whenever you look through binoculars, you see two joined circles instead of one. (now add: Raw goat milk, fish, unrefined sea salt) I went up in a plane and dispersed artificial yellow coloring throughout the snow cloud so that upon landing I could pee wherever I want and/or you could never know which snow to eat or not eat. OK? I'm serious. Do you remember everything you see?

029

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articulation of an intuition / seeker of significance / all the remedies have been tried / serpents and crocodiles / vampires / interrelated by implication of overlapping complexes / experience is a true impersonation / two opposing shamans on peyote having a lethal battle on another plane / where does this sickness come from? / search for animal tracks in the channels of your heart / Who owns the copyright? / Your mom already got on the plane. / Your mom already got on the plane. / John Denver is still alive, and ironically he is living in Denver Colorado. / He has a pet lemur that is actually a personal gift from Satan. / UFO'S ARE HERE! / Tibetan monks are all actually aliens from the planet Zebrodien. / All the significant battles are waged within the self. / It was as if a switch flipped in my brain / I am omnicient within a limited sphere.

028

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I built a miniature coliseum terrarium for butterfly battles! I invited over some buddys to watch the ruthless butterfly war and eat Donkey Fried Chicken. Susie brought over a chocolate chip cookie cake shaped like an old-school boom-box with icing knobs and blinky lights and stuff. Why the hell did I decide to do this at 3:45 am? It's just the kind of event to make you question the banality of evil. (It's difficult to tell if a rat is depressed - they are not given to crying fits and writing angsty poetry.) That's the biggest pile of Barbi arms I've ever seen! I like to put on swimming goggles and start drinking a fresh tub of cola from the center because it is the purest taste experience. Blowing soap bubbles as a child taught me that the most beautiful of things are the most transient. A poet once said "Look, the trees are turning their own bodies into pillars.". Yeah, DUH, like SO WHAT! I know what I need to do! I'm gonna get a tattoo of a lighthouse on my...

027

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I came home yesterday and this naked lady was painting snail shells on my wall. I said "Hey duchess, I'm I pirate and your vandalism will NOT lead you to redemption!" We then found ourselves snorting Splenda for seven hours. "I guess your bonus went right up your nose!" she said. Then we drove around for an hour shooting deer with paintballs. She drank milk and threw up icecream. In the rearview I saw her moonlit on the highway, rave dancing. I saw her a month later and all she drew was ninja-turtles (still in the nude). I sent her a baby bird in a cigar box (there were holes). She sent satan over to my house to knock me down and kick my stomach and face. I wrote "The earth hums my penance." in indelible marker across her bumper. Even now, when I play my cigar box banjo, I whistle and chirp while I picture her hands emptying a loaded brush. (Everything sure seems like a crappy metaphor with a picture of a naked lady next to it.)

026

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What the hell am I doing? Stay up all damned night doing stupid sht! If you let go of your inhibitions, you can turn your keyboard under your fingers into a "DISCO KEYBOARD". The problem with the separation process is that the 2 bodies are merged and you don't know witch one is the astral. If you try to move your physical body everything will mess up and you might “wake up” in paralyzed. You might wake up paralyzed in a room with angry ghosts. Keep your cool and you might get a promotion or a raise. You might wake up screaming "If there's a possibility that something might be controversial, then why not ban it?" (I went to consult a yogi. He gave me a boo boo.)

025

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I taught all the monkeys at the zoo to give you the bird while they spank the human. I wear a face mask over the tattoo of a face that I had done on my face. Then I threw up all over the crowd of giddy yellow baby chickies playing in the incubator bin. They thought it was a fun game! I laughed and pretended it didn't smell bad. "Mindfulness has sometimes been said to be a function of RAIN: Recognition, Acceptance, Investigation, and Nonidentification." (Kornfield, 2008). Nonidentification brings stability. I'm selling these hubcap turtles at the arts fair for $15. Do you think that's too much? Please help spread the word by linking to this blog on "not talking to the police".

024

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teh heh heh... Oh wow! What a coincidence! Both of my babies are honoring Jewish history! Named after a 1963 horror movie starring Boris Karloff. They released an album as "Earth". Life is precious and we are fragile. When you suck a ghost into a vacuum cleaner, it only takes the crafty fkr about 3 seconds to find it's way out, so RUN!!! If you see a burning bush and you don't hear voices and you put out the fire, do you go to HELL? I took this picture of a ghost and now it's family is suing me for the proceeds because "WE NEVER SIGNED ANYTHING!". I have a photo-realistic tattoo of Trent Reznor on my left tit.

023

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It was a slow, painful process, becoming invisible, but you should embrace it now (as real life has nothing to offer you and you should merely see it as a sick joke). The first thing you will need is a guitar and a puppy with only two legs. (it's ok to laugh at handicapped animals because they like the attention) Feed it eye boogers and it'll do a flip. Wrap your entire car in bubble wrap and then you can nap on the freeway. Those bite marks mean I care. If you call Alf a Muppet, he'll rip you to shreds. A coma is just a comma in life. It was the perfect job for a shy, nerdy sophomore. Why do giant unibomber glasses look so hot on a girl? About a month ago I waved the white flag on my graphic novel. Blogs are the future!

022

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i suffocate when i wake up and realize life is still going on, i must live another day of feedback realization of doom / whiteworshin' da fense iz reely funnnn! wanna try??? / i had a keyboard made like a helmet so i could close my eyes and sit and rock and hold my head while typing stream of conscious breaking into the omniscient great beyond! They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life. On direct orders from the Swedish secret police the performance was stopped since the Culture Minister refused to give her inaugural speech if it were to continue. /// Test Results: Extroversion 55%, Orderliness 50%, Emotional Stability 35%, Accommodation 44%, Inquisitiveness 70%

021

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Besides a few trips to the dollar store, I read some Jane Austin under a tree in the park, I hung an art show, but nowadays there are so many more ways to get attention than pretending to be sick. I painted a set of twelve Russian stacking dolls. I paint all of my recyclables matte black before putting them on the curb so the trash man can get a taste of high-culture. My day begins with me waking up and ends with me falling asleep. Tomorrow I finish my exams and then I will have more time for my blog. It doesn't matter though, the blogosphere has yet to really catch on to my brilliance. A fly buzzed in to an interview with President Obama at the White House, and when it landed, the President of the United States of America squashed it dead with his hand. Unfortunately, that's the truth! WHO'S NEXT BARACK!?

020

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If the repression is lifted, the instinct is set free. She embroidered the mask he wore. The value of this should be obvious... once you know that it exists. I pre-vized how the "carry all" bag would look with the words "embroidery is tacky!" embroidered on it, and it looked almost sophisticated. Many purchasing agents are frantically trying to rearrange travel plans. His telepathy is so strong they all lost they're bowel control. They learned to paint pictures with floss and fabric! Attention werewolves, your ant farms could backfire at any moment! Put jelly on a side of beef, yank out your two front teeth and go to town!

019

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Mahatma Gandhi's
"Seven Blunders of the World"
1. Wealth without work
2. Pleasure without conscience
3. Knowledge without character
4. Commerce without morality
5. Science without humanity
6. Worship without sacrifice
7. Politics without principle

018

what were you expecting? My whole family was over at my house. We were just watching the computer... and it started getting transparent.. not the screen, but the whole thing.. disappearing, like reality was an image, not.. well.. a physical reality. This creepy demon.. just materialized.. in a strobe... the strobe started slow, and accelerated to a SOLID REALITY standing before us! Like some Cambodian backwoods chameleon demon. Thank GOD the fire alarm went off just then. All that shit disappeared and I was left standing in front of the urinal where I started.