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I built a miniature coliseum terrarium for butterfly battles! I invited over some buddys to watch the ruthless butterfly war and eat Donkey Fried Chicken. Susie brought over a chocolate chip cookie cake shaped like an old-school boom-box with icing knobs and blinky lights and stuff. Why the hell did I decide to do this at 3:45 am? It's just the kind of event to make you question the banality of evil. (It's difficult to tell if a rat is depressed - they are not given to crying fits and writing angsty poetry.) That's the biggest pile of Barbi arms I've ever seen! I like to put on swimming goggles and start drinking a fresh tub of cola from the center because it is the purest taste experience. Blowing soap bubbles as a child taught me that the most beautiful of things are the most transient. A poet once said "Look, the trees are turning their own bodies into pillars.". Yeah, DUH, like SO WHAT! I know what I need to do! I'm gonna get a tattoo of a lighthouse on my...